The month of May is a busy one involving festivities ranging from graduations, weddings, and anniversaries. The calendar filled up quickly this year & now we are nearing June in what seems like the blink of an eye. May is a month that tends to bring a great deal of mixed emotions into life. As children grow reaching milestones ranging from walking to entering preschool and pre-kindergarten, teenagers we know and love graduate high school, college students start their career paths, couples whom we have walked through life with for a decade get married, friends & family celebrate years upon years of lasting marriages, babies are born, grandparents pass away, moves & transitions begin—new chapters are beginning all around us!
All the celebrating is exciting & yet the newness it brings, the change + growth, can create an unsettledness in one’s soul. I feel a flood of emotions as I attend each event! So how does one manage the overflow of her heart in this beautifully chaotic season?
I have become a seeker of peace! I long to experience the beauty of this life deeply. I want to feel and absorb each moment with grace & joy. Is that realistic in this broken world? How can we feel deeply & yet still find peace?
So what do we do with all the emotions that bubble up to the surface in these times? I find a place to sit & be still. Many time all the toil in my heart is a result of not really sitting in the emotion. I must carve out a time on a regular basis to unplug & rest so that I can explore the parts of my heart that I tend to avoid because unwanted emotions such as fear, doubt, and anxiety emerge. I typically grab a journal, my bible, & eventually turn on some music. I force myself to sit in the quiet for the first 5 minutes. I do not write or read. I simply sit. It can be uncomfortable at first. Those ugly emotions rise to the surface & I try to stuff them back down deep. I distract myself then they come back repetitively. At this point I talk to my Creator, the One who I believe made everything on this earth. I ask him to help me have the strength to face the messy parts of me head on. At this point I will write. It’s incredible what comes out of my pen, the subtle lies I have been believing. Then I find some scripture to mediate on. I may write again or pray. I might turn on a song or remind one of my children that this is our time to do quiet things in the house. I end my time turning it all over to my Creator. I tell him it’s all too big for me to manage. The peace starts to creep in. I can’t explain it, but it always comes. It’s a constant battle I fight on a daily basis… grasping for my own control of my life vs. handing it back over to the One who made me & knows me & still loves me.
How do you seek peace in the chaos?
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