The month of May is a busy one involving festivities ranging from graduations, weddings, and anniversaries. The calendar filled up quickly this year & now we are nearing June in what seems like the blink of an eye. May is a month that tends to bring a great deal of mixed emotions into life. As children grow reaching milestones ranging from walking to entering preschool and pre-kindergarten, teenagers we know and love graduate high school, college students start their career paths, couples whom we have walked through life with for a decade get married, friends & family celebrate years upon years of lasting marriages, babies are born, grandparents pass away, moves & transitions begin—new chapters are beginning all around us!

All the celebrating is exciting & yet the newness it brings, the change + growth, can create an unsettledness in one’s soul. I feel a flood of emotions as I attend each event! So how does one manage the overflow of her heart in this beautifully chaotic season?

I have become a seeker of peace! I long to experience the beauty of this life deeply. I want to feel and absorb each moment with grace & joy. Is that realistic in this broken world? How can we feel deeply & yet still find peace?

So what do we do with all the emotions that bubble up to the surface in these times?  I find a place to sit & be still. Many time all the toil in my heart is a result of not really sitting in the emotion. I must carve out a time on a regular basis to unplug & rest so that I can explore the parts of my heart that I tend to avoid because unwanted emotions such as fear, doubt, and anxiety emerge. I typically grab a journal, my bible, & eventually turn on some music. I force myself to sit in the quiet for the first 5 minutes. I do not write or read. I simply sit. It can be uncomfortable at first. Those ugly emotions rise to the surface & I try to stuff them back down deep. I distract myself then they come back repetitively. At this point I talk to my Creator, the One who I believe made everything on this earth. I ask him to help me have the strength to face the messy parts of me head on. At this point I will write. It’s incredible what comes out of my pen, the subtle lies I have been believing. Then I find some scripture to mediate on. I may write again or pray. I might turn on a song or remind one of my children that this is our time to do quiet things in the house. I end my time turning it all over to my Creator. I tell him it’s all too big for me to manage. The peace starts to creep in. I can’t explain it, but it always comes. It’s a constant battle I fight on a daily basis… grasping for my own control of my life vs. handing it back over to the One who made me & knows me & still loves me.

How do you seek peace in the chaos?

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2 thoughts on “seeking peace.

  1. Hi Meredith … wandered around a bit and found your new site … so lovely!

    And I love what you’ve written today – so helpful in this season when so much comes to grab our attention. And that solitude and silence with Christ seems to be the first thing that gets put to the side.

    Hugs …


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