I have 20 minutes before midnight to begin & complete day1 of my 31 days of Yearning (stiLL)… clearly off to a smooth start. I long to sleep & yet I long more to share a bit about longing in my life (and not get behind before I get started!).
So here we go…
L O N G I N G. a synonym for Y E A R N I N G.
All this yearning I speak of can be found in Genesis (the apple), Exodus (land flowing with milk+honey), & Romans (heaven) in Scripture. It’s laced throughout our history… we long for more than we have here on this earth. This deep rooted desire is a part of you & me. It’s part of our story. It may look different on a daily basis for you than it does for me… but we ache in this broken space between Eden & Heaven.
I am tempted to make a lengthy laundry list of the shattered dreams of mine & yours. Instead I want to choose to acknowledge the longing & then move into the next stage… & offer some HOPE. See this time last year when I was writing about yearning my heart was bleeding. Life brought some circumstances that caused me to tumble into a valley. It was as if a shadow was cast over my soul for a season. Glimmers of light were catching my eye daily, yet the heaviness tossed me back & forth into the whirlpool of doubt, anger, frustration, & disappointment.
On this very day last year I wrote this: “why y e a r n i n g? The past year has been one of yearning for me. Yearning for more. Realizing this place is not our home, & yet finding the beauty in the mess. Wrestling with how to choose J O Y. I have pondered the paradoxes almost daily: wholeness&brokenness. joy&sadness. pleasure&pain. life&death. I have ached deeply this past year. I am thankful to take the next 31 days to process this heavy heart & hopefully come away feeling a little lighter as I cast more&more of this on my Creator who crafted you & me for His glory to experience FULL LIFE even on this side of heaven. I taste of it daily. There really are one thousand + gifts. & yet, I yearn!”
Ah, yes! It is all still true & yet I feel much lighter, more free, & JOY has returned. The sun beams are warming my soul! There is always HOPE! I consider it a gracious gift to share some of my story & shed some light in this, at times, very dark chunk of earth where we dweLL as I continue to daily cling to Romans 8:
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that[h] the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
& I leave you with this…