Every year in our small, bustling town we walk down to the tiny white chapel of our local Methodist church. It’s the day after Easter, when our grief has been replaced with grace. The heaviness of Good Friday and the day in between has ceased and our Rescuer has risen. We gaze into the windows, casting our eyes onto the colorful butterflies hanging on the twigs placed in plain view. The ache of yesterday and the unknown has been redeemed and we can latch onto the concept that our soul’s are transformed by His death and sacrifice on the cross. But what about the day in between? The day we wait?
Sometimes grief can feel like the day in between.
We can find ourselves gazing up at the sky, or in a doctor’s office, or at coffee with a friend asking: why? Why me? Why again? Does God really see me and the longings of my heart? Why would He allow this to happen? Grief has a way of wrecking us deep within. It also has a way of bringing us to our knees and allowing others to love and help us. It has been such a gift to me when friends have allowed me to share my heart in my hurt. I also count it a high honor to get the chance daily to enter the stories of those aching. I have had friends experience still birth, multiple miscarriages, and painful diseases. With each phone call or email I receive I have wanted to hand them a book, in love, that will serve as a guide through grief, not a handbook on how-to “fix” it. I have wanted an author to be brave and dig beneath the surface of their own stuff to offer hope to others.
Over the years my family and friends have experienced a weighty load of loss and grief. In my counseling practice many women who are suffering silently in their own lives are sharing their broken hearts with me. I have heard all the one liners that people say in an attempt to soothe these souls, but unfortunately the more talking it seems people do, the less it helps. The last thing someone grieving wants to hear from us can be found here in an article from my Aussie friend Adriel Booker. Adriel has miscarried three of her own & she provides honest and relatable resources for women walking a similar road. Not only does she share her story in a raw and refreshing way, but she also broadens her perspective for people like you and me who have battled grief in other ways or simply want to know how to best love the woman hurting in front of us. I am so grateful that Grace Like Scarlett is releasing just in time for Mother’s Day on May 1, 2018!
As a counselor I appreciate deeply how Adriel says in her book, “no matter how wonderful our surroundings, no matter how perfect if all seems, we will never know and experience the fullness of heaven on earth until Jesus himself makes all things new. All that we see and taste and touch, though being redeemed, is still flawed—deeply and desperately.” This reminder of truth gives us all permission to feel whatever range of emotion we are experiencing in regards to the loss that comes our way. Everyone’s back story is different and we cannot pretend to know what others are battling. Yes, we enter in, but offering pat answers or tie-it-up-with-a-bow statements can actually be harmful.
Adriel allows the brokenhearted to feel, doubt, and cry out to a big God who carries us.
My prayer for every woman, or man, who reads this book is that they will learn the gift of being present with a person in their pain. Maybe you are the one who needs to read this book because you have personally experienced a loss through pregnancy. The stats are staggering and reveal that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss which means that many of you have or know someone who has dealt with this specific grief. Adriel offers resources for husbands and loved ones, postpartum relief, and new seasons of pregnancy that follow. This book also widens the scope from just pregnancy loss and points us to grace in the midst of any grief we may bear. Anyone who reads it will find hope in the dark.
If you preorder this Grace Like Scarlett before May 1, you can also receive these goodies:
So, if you have a friend who needs some support or you need some yourself, here it is!